What my mom needs for her to live

My mom’s current medications:

Temazepam: It’s to help her sleep. She takes 30mg in one capsule as needed for insomnia, such as if she is still awake at midnight.

Hydrocodone: This is for her chronic pain. The dose is a 10mg tablet, and she takes that four times a day at 6AM, 10AM, 2PM, and 6PM. Its also mixed with Tylenol: This is also for the pain. It’s 325mg tablet

She she been diagnosis with:
Rheumatoid arthritis
Several herniated discs in her back
Heart conditions  

If she goes more than two days without sleep she would get a bad seizure. That is one reason why she takes Temazepam. If she has too many seizures she would most likely get a stroke, and that VA has said they believe that maybe one of the cause behind her first stroke.

When my mothers not on her hydrocodone, her blood pressure goes up from the pain she is in, and the increased blood pressure and causes chest pains and headaches, this only happens if she doesn’t take four a day . Not even blood pressure medication will lower it when she has it from the pain she is in.

Her blood pressure raising is another risk of seizures, and most likely another stroke or a third heart attack.

It is so important that she stays on her insomnia and pain medications in order for her to live.


Moms pain and sleeping history

My mom has had insomnia since she was thirteen years old. Benedryl worked for her sleep until she turned 23 years old. When she was 23 years old it stopped working altogether, and as time went by her insomnia got worse.

My mom got to where she would get 3-4 hours per night. By the time she was in her early 40’s she would go days with out sleep. So she tried Ambien for sleep, and she started to have amnesia. She would sleep walk, drive, give away family heirlooms, and have long conversation on the phone or in person and she would not remember it. She was taken of it and was put on Lunesta, but it did the samething as Ambien. Thus, she was taken off Lunesta and was put on Temazepam.

Temazepam worked. It would not mess with her head, and she remembered everything.

In addition to the sleeping problems, she has a lot of pain from head to toes. It all started when she was diagnosed with spinal meningitis at the age of 23.

For the pain they gave her Darvocet for a year. She took one pill four times a day. Then at 33 years old, the same thing happened again, she was diagnosed with spinal meningitis. They put her back on Darvocet. She took one pill four times a day.

She stayed on that dosage until she was 41 years old. Then she went to the family doctor asking for something that wasn’t a narcotic (this was before she starting going to the VA), and he put her on Lodien which is a NSAID, which is similar to Advil.

For eight months she was on it, but she was taken off of it because of kidney failure. They then sent her to a specialist for muscle and joint problems.

She was told that she has fibromyalgia. She was also told that it was not safe for her to take Lodien or any other NSAID again since those drugs are processed by the kidneys, and her kidneys would fail.

Again, they put her back on Darvocet. They said she can take that or nothing for her pain. She stayed on it till seven or eight years ago, when she started at  the VA. They took her off of it, and they put her on hydrocodone. Since then my mom has been on the hydrocodone.

Now they want to take her off the hydrocodone due to too many veterans being on opioids. She still says that Darvocet worked better than hydrocodone.

P.S. this is part of many blogs on my moms meds

Tumors– Taken from Neck, Placed into Arm

The VA thinks that all of my mom’s problems are mental. My mom was having seizures, and they didn’t believe her. They were saying it was all in her head…

After the third seizure I got fed up.

I told them that if they didn’t find out what was wrong I was going to the media. They got scared when I said that.

Thats when they found out that she had hyperthyroidism and that there was a tumor in her throat. So my mom went into surgery to have the tumor removed.

After the surgery the surgeon came out and informed me that they got two tumors out of my mom’s throat.

And then 5-10 mins later the surgeon came out again and said radiology got it wrong. The tumor was on the other side of her throat, so they went into the other side of her throat to remove the tumor.

Once that was complete the surgeon came back and told me that they removed one tumor from the correct side of her throat.

To this day, Mom keeps having seizures.

Later on we found out the surgeon took out three GOOD parts of her thyroid, and they left the tumor inside her throat, untouched.

When the finally took the tumor out, the surgeon did the unthinkable and PUT IT IN HER ARM. They didn’t even tell her they were going to do that.

Now she has even more problems than when this process started.


People keep asking me why I flinch, why I back away, and duck so much.  I really can’t just say that I was the punching bag back at my school.  I just say that I just do that. Now I’m tired of being asked that same thing over and over. It started in 6th grade. I got bullied by a couple of girls. One hit me in the throat and I end up in the ER, because I had trouble breathing. Now I have trouble breathing and I can no longer sing like I uses to.  Then in 7th grade I had a boyfriend that liked to hit me around, broke up with him of course.   8th grade he still hit me, because he wanted me to go out with him again and I would say NO and then I would get hit.. If you’re wondering if I went to the teachers or staff, I DID. They didn’t do a thing, they say that they’re going to get the bulling to end. It never did and he kept on hitting and pushing me around school.  I also got beaten a few times and the school did not do a thing once again.

Back in 9th grade, I had a best friend and we were close. Her sister threaten to kill me with a knife, because she didn’t like that I was friends with her sister and I backed her up against people making fun of her reading problems and ect.   I went to the school about that and I also told the school that she owned knives that are in her car, that she drives to the school. School didn’t do shit  That is why I flinch, back away or duck so much. Now I will defend myself.


Awhile back, my mom was having unbearable chest pain. I called an ambulance, and the EMT’s arrived. They drove my mom to the VA emergency room; however, the VA hospital was not able to accept her.

The ambulance turned around and went to the nearest hospital for civilians. At this hospital, my mom finally received some thorough medical attention. We found out that one of her heart stints is 90% blocked, and this stint is located in the proximal left anterior descending (LAD) coronary artery of the heart– more commonly known as the widowmaker.

It was also discovered that her carotid artery is 80% blocked. The doctor described my mom as a, “Ticking time bomb.” He advised us to replace the stints as soon as possible. If the VA was not my mother’s provider then that doctor would have done the surgery there.

The civilian ER doctor wanted to have a follow-up with my mother, but we couldn’t go back. The VA refused to cover the cost. The VA wanted my mom to see one of there doctors.

My mom made her follow-up appointment with a VA doctor. “I’m going to make this simple.” The VA doctor said she is fine. He went on to say the widowmaker is nothing to worry about. He explained that even if the widowmaker is 100% blocked, it would only affect  5-10% of the heart, and that is nothing.

The VA doctor also said that he wasn’t going to do anything about the 80% blocked carotid artery. That he wanted to see more symptoms ( like a stroke) before they did anything.

My mom already has 5% of her heart damaged, and this  physician claimed the stints cannot be replaced and she is fine as long as she continues to take her regularly prescribed medications.

I’m not an anatomy expert, but a few quick google searches gave me information that the widowmaker is called the WIDOW MAKER for a reason…

P.S thanks courtneyoftheseacourtneyofthesea.tumblr.com for the editing

VA lost again

I just found this in my drafts that I for got. this happened a couple of years ago/

So my mom has a few bones and muscles problems. So my mom goes to see physical therapy and let me tell you that was HELL, but that is a different story to tell in another blog. I’m just going to skip a head to the last appointment my mom went too. When we got there which we were 15 mins early, the doctor was too busy talking to people to release she was 40 mins late to her appointment.  She seemed nice a first, but I just met her for the first time. She asks me questions that my mom should be answering not me. By the time the doctor start to talk to my mom I was annoyed because she kept asking me questions about my mom’s health. Finally she starts to talk to my mom. While my mom was answering the doctor, the doctor would look at me and mouth that my mom didn’t need me and ect.  My mom didn’t see what was going on because her back was turned, my mom was facing to door and the doctor was behind her.  I just ignored the doctor. Then the doctor started to ask me about my life, why would she need to know about my life, but I answer some of her questions.  She asked me if I was in school, if I was working. Then she turns to my mom and tells her she didn’t need my help, that I was in her way of recovery. That I was using her for her money, which she really doesn’t have any. And I was doing that so I didn’t have to go to school or work. Then she had the nerve to pate me on the head like I was a stupid child or a child trying to get away with something. Then she tells my mom that I wasn’t needed to be at her appointments. I could tell my mom was lost, she didn’t know what to do, so my mom agreed for me to leave. So I left, walked around a lot thinking over what happened. I started to think the doctor was right. Was I holding my mom back? Let me think about it. NOPE . My mom has a hard time walking, she can’t even sit up without be in so much pain, just sitting hurts her and my mom has seizures. And the seizures alone mess with my mom big time. Like she has trouble remembering things, her words are mumbled up and it’s hard to understand her and she forgets words. I do all the shopping, the cleaning, cooking and ect. There are times that my mom would have a good day and get out of bed and walk around little bit. Then I started to think again why did the doctor want me out of the door so much. That’s when it hit me. The VA hates that I go in to my mom’s appointments, they hate that I don’t let them just walk all over my mom or get away with lying about her meds or her health. When my mom’s appointment was over, I asked how it was. She told me that she wished she didn’t tell me to leave because the doctor went on about her not needing me to do thing for her and such and they really didn’t talk about her health much. I told my mom what I was thinking about how I think the VA is trying to get rid of me, because this happened before, 2 years ago when my mom primary doctor didn’t want me in the room.  VA doesn’t like that I will ask question that they don’t want to answer. Also I get on the computer and look up on some of the things they say and I can say that most of the shit they say is made up. My mom felt so bad about what happened, it’s what the VA was hoping for by having my mom say that I wasn’t need for the appointments.   Once again the VA has failed in getting rid of me. BWAHAHAHAHAHA

P.S thanks again Courtney for editing


My own health has plummeted since my mother became sick, especially my mental health. The stress alone has caused me to have nightmare . Almost every night I have horrible images of my mom dying or getting worse in the VA.
The doctors at the VA don’t listen, and I truly believe they don’t care.

I never sleep straight through the night. I constantly check on my mom. I’m terrified one day I will check on her, and she won’t wake up.
I’m keeping thinking, is this the last holiday we have together? Is this the last birthday? I hate feeling like this. Im crying almost every night trying to think of away to help my mom

I keep writing these blog posts in hope that someone will tell me what to do to get my mom the help she really needs.

Trying to get a service dog, VA not helpful

As my mom was seeing a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist did not listen to anything my mom said. In the past before my mom started going to the VA she went to civilian doctors.

These civilian doctors told my mom that she should not take certain medications for various reasons such as having bad reaction to it or just being allergic.

These medications to avoid are in the records that my mom gave to the VA when she began seeking treatment there, but the psychiatrist wouldn’t read them, and the VA doctors kept wanting to but her on the medications regardless of her history.

Every appointment my mom has with the psychiatrist it is the same thing over and over again– same conversations, and they go nowhere. Don’t these doctors read their notes? No progress is ever made. This is the psychiatrist who said she would write a letter for my mom to get a service dog. It took a little over a year for my mom to get that letter.

All that the psychiatrist had to do was write it but no. The VA doctors kept giving us the go around; she told us to go to this doctor or that doctor.

We decided to drop it for a couple of months. My mom’s psychologist stepped in trying to find out why the psychiatrist didn’t write the letter; of course, she didn’t get an answer.

After another month the psychologist told my mom to go to the release of information and that there was going to be a letter for the service dog from my mom’s psychiatrist, but, of course, there was no letter.

My mom started to email her psychiatrist about the letter. My mom got a reply from the nurse saying that my mom had to first write a letter to her psychiatrist about what she wanted. ]My mom replied back saying that the psychiatrist knows what the letter is about, and this process is getting ridiculous and that if the letter is not done in a couple of days my mom was going to call the psychiatrist supervisor or the director.

The nurse didn’t even understand why the psychiatrist didn’t write the letter when the psychiatrist has done it many times before, but in the end my mom finally got the letter, but we are still yet to get a service dog.

My mom was told that the VA was going to help her get the dog, but we found out much later on that they don’t do that. So we are looking for a way to get a dog for my mom. These doctors are not reliable. So to this day my mom still doesn’t have her service dog.


Thanks for the help http://courtneyofthesea.tumblr.com/

pics  of the email to prove some of how upset my mom was

Doctors put patients life at risk AGAIN

For most, when it’s night, that is a time of rest and relaxation, but not if one has a sleeping problem… My mom has suffered from insomnia for most of her life and she got help from a doctor. As time went by a doctor from the VA wanted to prescribe Ambien.

My mother repeatedly told the doctor that she cannot take Ambien because past experiences with the drug have caused negative side effects. My mother would entirely lose her memory. She didn’t want that happening again, and she didn’t want such a strong medication.

The doctor refused to give her anything but Ambien.  After a few appointments my mom was so desperate for sleep; she gave into the doctor about the Ambien.

The first night my mom took it she went to bed and actually got some sleep. Mant days later, unbenounced to me, she woke up, took another pill and then went back to sleep, again she woke up to take another pill and falls back to sleep. This continued on for a few hours.

I woke up and started to see that my mom was acting different when she was awake, like she thought the wall was a door and had other confusions.  She went to the bathroom and stayed there. I kept asking her if she was alright and she said she was fine. I started to ask her questions, she answered in a way that made it obvious she needed help.

I called 911; they came and took her to the VA. Two hours or so later, the doctors asked me if she took any medication recently. I said she took her sleeping pills.

They requested to see what she took, so I drove home to bring the doctor her the sleeping pill bottle and all her other prescriptions. A nurse and I counted all the medications and everything was on count except the Ambien.

The Ambien caused what was happening to my mom.

What happened was my mom didn’t know that she kept taking the Ambien throughout the night. She thought that she only took it once. She has no memory of taking multiple pills.  Ambien causes amnesia for her.

Before my mom started getting medical care in the VA, she had a typical doctor like most civilians. She had experienced the negative side effects of Ambien with this doctor. Her civilian doctor had it stated all over her records that she should never take Ambien.

When she started to get care at the VA, all her previous medical records were transferred there. Thus, the VA should have known the consequences of what would happen if she were to take Ambien. And my mother even verbalized with the doctor that it is not a medication she can take.

Every appointment at the VA my mom has with this doctor is the same thing over again. Each time we see this doctor we have to tell him again and again what she cannot take. It’s almost as though they go out of their way to not stay informed on how to give the best care to their patients.

I would like to say thanks to http://courtneyofthesea.tumblr.com/ for helping me with editing


My mom has gone through tremendous troubles for her back and the pain from her multiple conditions. She has arthritis, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia, scoliosis, and she has five herniated disks in her spine. Recently, my mom’s back pain was getting worse by the day. It got to the point where she was in so much pain that on the third day we called an ambulance to take her to the ER. In the ER the physician enters the room, and says he is going to take some x-rays because he was concerned she fractured her back since it is common those those with osteoporosis to spontaneously fracture their spine. After the x-rays the doctor came in with the look of horror on his face, first thing we think of is that my moms back is broken, but the doctor said no that this is one of the worse backs he has ever seen. We learned that my mom has six herniated disks in her spine now. Then the doctor said something that surprised us. As he was talking he mentioned the scoliosis in my mom’s lower back. We were stunned. We had always been told the scoliosis was in her upper back.

The physician asked if my mom had gone through physical therapy. My mom and I told the physician that she did– for her upper back scoliosis. So the physician asks what kind of physical therapy did my mom do? My mom tells him that she was given back and leg exercises and stretches. The doctor interrupted her immediately to say she should have never done any back exercises or stretches, for that would only make the back in worse condition. The physician couldn’t believe that physical therapists would ever advise such treatment. He said they clearly never looked at my mom’s x-rays. He also wanted to know why they didn’t do something’s he suggested  that would have help her, but Physical therapy said no. He also said that now my mom is at risk for a Danger of a spontaneous fracture

This  doctor was so much different that most of doctors we have experienced through the VA. He sat down and worked with us to resolve any confusion, and he truly wanted to learn what was happening and how he could make my mom’s health improve. He also mentioned that my mom was lucky she didn’t break her back while doing these exercises that the physical therapist instructed my mom to do.

However, after this ordeal, my mom now has a back that is in constant pain. And her back is in such critical condition that if she moves wrong she could break her back.

I would like to say thanks to http://courtneyofthesea.tumblr.com/ for helping me with editing